Nobody ever refers to Kahnawake as The Riviera of Quebec. Certainly nobody who has ever been there.

Usually when I play poker at The Playground Poker Club in Kahnawake, I stay across the river at a swanky Montreal hotel and spend my non-poker hours drinking Mai Tai’s by the pool and ordering lobster rolls to my room.

But it’s a half hour drive to Kahnawake, unless there’s a little bit of Montreal-style traffic in which case it’s four hours.

There’s one hotel in Kahnawake and whenever there’s a decent poker tournament on at The Playground, the place is fully booked. For whatever reason, this year I managed to snag the last room.

This is The Four Seasons of Kahnawake. Only truckers and poker players need apply.

That’s right, it’s a gas station, truck stop, depanneur, and hotel with a 24-hour Tim Horton’s and a greasy spoon diner that opens at 5 AM. The rooms are as basic as a low-security prison, but it’s clean as fuck and they literally couldn’t be any nicer.

This is the diner. Hopefully when you see this pic you can also hear the country music playing in the background.

Also, if I wasn’t already married (to the most gorgeous woman on the planet) I’d marry this plate of bacon and eggs I got for breakfast.

Oh, poker? You want to know about how poker went yesterday?

Turns out I’m not very good at the game.

Nah, I’m kidding. I played well but things didn’t go my way. Nuff said. We’re back at the tables today.