So, I guess I’m back. My poker world has righted itself. At the very least, I won something. I’ll get to that in a sec.

***

First…

What is it with me and broken-down cars and poker?!

When I rent a car in foreign cities, I always rent through TURO. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s essentially Airbnb, but for cars. So, I always rent a unique car (always a convertible), a year and model that I could never lease from a Hertz or an Avis. And I rent it from a real person, not a corporation.

And you know I’m a rag-top man, always have been.

So, on this trip I’ve got this 2016 Audi A3 black convertible. Sharp car. And, no coincidence, it nicely complements my new black Adidas wardrobe.

Day two, the oil light goes on and a big warning light comes on and says “Change the oil, Brah” or something like that. I contact my “host”, Maksym, (Russian Mob, no doubt), and I tell him the situation, and he asks me to put oil in the car, which seems odd to me because I am the renter, not his assistant. I politely explain that Jews don’t perform that act on the Sabbath or any other day of the week.

I told him I would go to Jiffy Lube which is right on the way to The Hardrock, and have them throw some oil in the car. The Jiffy Lube is in a not so pleasant neighborhood. I get there and explain the situation to the four dreadlocked Crip members who run the place. They also get a load of me in my Adidas Tiro 24 Competition and high-tops outfit and immediately show respect. And while they sympathize with my oil situation, they explain that they can’t just throw some oil in it, they have to do a full oil change which’ll take at least half an hour.

I explain that I don’t have that kind of time as I’m on my way to a poker tournament (for which I get even more respect) and I explain that it’s not my car, I’m just here for four more days, and the D-bag who rented it to me should have rented it to me with oil in it. So, fuck him, I say, as long as the car will run for the next few days, this whole debacle is strictly SEP. (Somebody Else’s Problem).

For this I get mad respect.

The head Crip says that although the oil is quite low, there might be just enough to run for the next couple of days. He said “You’re a gambler, roll the dice” and we all laughed, fist pumps ensued, and I drove off in my oilless car.

And that’s when it hit me.

I didn’t play hooky from Hebrew School for six years for nuthin’…

This… is exactly the Channukah story.

If I remember correctly, in 164 BC Judas Maccabeah rebelled against evil Greek King Antiochus. Antiochus exiled the Jews and repo-ed their Audi A3 convertible. The Maccabees regained control of the vehicle but there was only enough oil in it to get to the beach, not all the way west of I-95 to the Hard Rock Casino. And certainly not four times! It was only a miracle through Hashem’s grace that the oil lasted and the Jews were able to gamble at the casino for four straight days. And to this day, that’s why we eat latkes and spin the dreidel.

My commitment to my Jewish faith has never been stronger.

***

Friday evening’s $400 tournament started at 4:00 PM and it was a bounty tourney, so you get $100 for every player you eliminate from the tourney.

I’ll make a long story short. 180 people started, and 23 made the money. I finished 18^th for a modest $660 prize but I did collect three bounties along the way for an additional $300. I know. Not a fortune. Not even enough to quite break me even for the trip. But damn close. And it’s enough to ensure me that I’m still competitive with some of best poker pros around.

Most importantly, I got to spend lots of quality time with my older brother, Michael, and I got out of this damn cold for a spell. Mission accomplished.

Listen, in all seriousness, this has never been about profit for me. Year in and year out I make money at poker, but barely enough to support Glennie, much less my entire family. It’s about the game. It’s about being competitive. I never wanted to do this for a living. It’s too hard a life. But it’s a great hobby, and I do think I’ve got at least one major score in me. My game’s getting better all the time. Stay with me.