Because my friend Domenic is such a high roller, he gets me a comped room here in Vegas. The first night I stayed at PARIS and the last night and tonight, I’m back at my home at THE WYNN.

Here are my Tripadvisor reviews.

PARIS is nice and it’s clean. It’s not The Bellagio, or The Wynn, or (from what I hear) The Fountainbleu, but it’s nice enough. Let’s talk about the thickness of the pillows though, shall we? What am I, a freakin’ ostrich?! No human has a neck that would withstand these… anvils covered in linen. Oh my neck. My poor human-sized neck.

5 out of 10.

THE WYNN. I didn’t get to my room until after midnight after 14 straight hours of poker. I was bagged, desperately needed sleep. I’m on the 32^nd floor and my room is literally vibrating from the music from the club on the ground floor. Let’s do some math. 12 foot ceilings with at least a foot of concrete between the 32 stories. So, I’m about a tenth of a mile in the air. And the music sounds like it’s coming from under my bed. I can’t tell you how old I felt calling the front desk to ask when it would stop. The lovely lady casually said that they probably wouldn’t go much past 4 or 5 in the morning. Say what, now? She apologetically offered to send a guy up to my room with ear plugs. (I guess they’ve gotten this call before). So, at 1 AM I greeted the earplug deliverer in my underpants. It’s Vegas, I’m sure he’s seen stranger things.

5 out of 10

Oh, poker! No joy to report, unfortunately. I thought I played great in the Mystery Millions Bounty Tournament. I finished 1307^th out of 7600 participants. 1150 would make the money. I know that doesn’t sound that close, but it is. The blinds were huge; I’m sure we were ten minutes away from making a min-cash. But what can I say. I played to win, and my TT ran into KK and it was not to be. No regrets about how I played.

Today there’s a $500 tourney down at The MGM that Domenic and I are heading down for. He has visions of me and him heads-up at the end. If you can find a bookie to give you a line on that, I suggest you put a few bucks on it.