OK how’s this for a bold statement? I’m not in last place! So I’ve made it to day two. Big whoop. (My God, I haven’t said “Big Whoop” since I was a camper in Cabin 27 at Camp Wahanowin, playing tetherball with Ira Berg). The original field of 441 has basically been cut in half.…

Sometimes I get a convenience-store banana. I’m at my office and I get a sudden hankering for a banana. I know intrinsically that the bananas up at The Loblaws at Yonge and St. Clair are superior. If not actually tastier, the supermarket banana will certainly be more aesthetically appealing (excuse the pun, get it? a…

So I’d had enough of Uncasville for one year. I high-tailed it out of the land of beer-bellied Alpha males and shapeless women faster than a jack-rabbit in Dick Cheney’s backyard. Starting early this morning I drove to a beautiful Outlet Mall (oxymoron much?) in a place called Wrentham, Mass. Got the requisite Red Sox…

What do they say? Close only counts in horseshoes and grenades? 56 out of 387 get paid. I came about 78th. Let me choose my words carefully here. In fact let me attempt to sum up my feelings with only two words, that’ll be an interesting challenge, huh? OK lemme give it a try. I’ll…

OK, I don’t have a lot of time to write this because day 2 starts in ten minutes, but I just have to say that whatever happens today – WHATEVER HAPPENS – it doesn’t really matter because I just got the best shave of my life. Went to the spa and the guy who takes…

I hate Kings. Have I mentioned that before? Not just in poker. All of ’em. King Hussein, The Sacramento Kings, Billie Jean King, Elvis, Burger King, Evelyn “Champagne” king (Come on, you don’t remeber that classic song “Shame”). I hate King street. I hate Prince William, and he’s not even king yet. I hate Martin…

I’m on the Porter flight to Beantown. Plane’s a little small for my tastes. I’m in the 10th row. I kept my head down when I got on the plane. Then I kept my head down as I walked down the center aisle to my seat so I wouldn’t have to see the length of…

What the fuck am I doing? The whole idea of winning seats in major tournaments was so that I could travel the world seeing interesting venues under unique circumstances. Of course there was the underlying notion that I might actually win some scratch along the way, but mostly it was about the sightseeing. And for…

So what do you do in Vegas when you’ve been cruelly and undeservedly exiled from the big tournament? Oh, I dunno, it’s Vegas, I guess I can find something to do. And my buddies Domenic and Derek are here too, which is kind of cool because I’ve never been that guy who goes to Vegas…

OK I’m out. I finished in about 350th spot. I nursed my 22,000 chip stack right into the third hour of day two. And still I couldn’t catch ONE DECENT HAND! But a little smoke and mirrors, a steal here, a steal there, and somehow even with the huge blinds and antes (600-1200 when I…