I played in a $400 two-day tournament today at The Hard Rock Casino beside a guy that was so old…

Go ahead ask. Just do it. Ask.

Or, tell you what, ask Chat GPT for “He’s so old…” jokes and fill in your own.

This guy was so old… that his name was Ira, and he kept falling asleep at the table, and all the casino staff and all of the regular players know him and look after him when he’s in a tournament, and nobody gets annoyed, or rolls their eyes, or even stifles a laugh because they know better. They respect.

This is Ira. I snuck this pic.

And this is not some feisty or clownish, self-depreciating, old vaudevillian with a million one-liners either. Quiet as a mouse, never smiles, does not seem to be enjoying himself one little bit.

And yet, he must be, right?

Know what else? He’s good. I mean when he’s awake, he’s aggressive, he knows when to call a bluff, and he knows when to give up on one of his own. As far as I could see, he can hold his own in this room and then some.

Cutest thing. One of the pit bosses came over and whispered in his ear “Ira, call your wife when you get a chance. She’s worried about you.” And he called her right away and told her not to worry and that he loved her. I practically wept.

Here’s the funny thing. Two mantras were going through my head as I watched him.

One was “Please God, don’t ever let me become that guy”.

And the other one was “Please God, let me become that guy”.

I still can’t decide.

Anyway, enough of Ira. Let’s talk about “I”. See what I did there?

Know what else “I” did?

“I” made it to Day 2, which also means “I” made the money. So, even if “I” blow my stack on the first hand “I’m” dealt tomorrow, there’s at least a modest payday in store.

And for a change we go into Day 2 with a pretty healthy stack of 262,000 chips. The average right now is about 160,000, so we’re well above average. My mother always told me that if I worked hard, used deodorant, and learned to tie a tie, that I had all the potential in the world to become well above average. Look at me now, Mama!

Let’s see what tomorrow brings. Cards fly at 1:00 PM.