When Ruth and I were in Portugal this past winter, we went shopping one day and I made an impulse purchase. A package of three new pairs of underpants. I know, right! It was irresponsible and spontaneous. I didn’t need them. I have plenty. But these just caught my eye, and I went a little nutty. Freakin’ sue me, OK?

One pair had ducks on them, and another had penguins. Ducks and penguins are very hard to resist, ya gotta admit.

The third pair were just a throw-in. They had… dots.

Wonder where I’m going with this? Show some patience. I’ll get there.

When I played in the WSOP last Sunday, I didn’t wear my new underpants. I wore my lucky green travelling underpants, the ones I wear on planes. With many flights under their elasticized belt – and not one disaster, not one air traffic controller falling asleep on the job, not even one glass of merlot on my lap – they’ve always delivered for me, these green gotch.

Not so much on Sunday at The WSOP Turbo tournament.

I guess they’re in-flight specialists.

***

So, on Tuesday when I played in the WSOP Seniors tournament… I brought out the ducks.

Ducks for luck, makes sense, right?

Yeah, no.

I lost on a wild hand. Get this.

Four hours into this Tourney and blinds are at 3K and rising rapidly. I’ve got an average stack of about 50K, and I raise to 7500 from the cutoff (late position) with A7 of hearts.

I get two callers from the Button and the Big Blind.

Flop comes 8c, 9h, Th.

It’s a beautiful flop for me as I’ve got the nut flush draw and an open-ended baby straight draw. So many possibilities.

The BB shoves all-in for about 22K. I put him on AT or maybe KT. With my myriad of outs, and blinds increasing rapidly, I’m more than happy to shove what’s left of my stack.

Much to my surprise the Button calls as well.

Three of us all-in.

We expose our cards.

The BB has Jh, Qh for the completed NUT STRAIGHT and an open-ended STRAIGHT-FLUSH DRAW. Holy shit!

And the BB shows POCKET TENS for a SET OF TENS! Holy Motherfucking Shit.

We’ve all got great reasons to be all-in.

THE TURN. Oh, the Turn. Whatta turn. THE THREE OF HEARTS gives me the NUT FLUSH and now I’m winning! I’m going to triple up and have 150,000 Chips. I’m going to be in great shape!

As long as the board doesn’t pair, or the BUTTON hits his straight flush…

THE RIVER. Oh, the River. THE THREE OF DIAMONDS. Gives the guy with trip tens a full house. And puts me… in the shithouse.

Damn River.

Stupid Ducks.

***

Tomorrow, Good Friday, I’m playing in the 2025 Canadian WSOP MAIN EVENT.

Big entry fee. Big prize pool. That’s the one we wanted anyway.

***

LET’S GO, YOU PENGUINS!