Well, that was an auspicious start to my poker weekend. But I’ll get to that in a minute…

The Hard Rock is about a 25-minute drive from where I’m staying in Hallandale, so this was really the first time since I arrived Thursday morning that my Silver Mercedes SLK two-seater convertible and I have gotten a chance to spend some quality time together. It’s transformative, that’s all it is. I’m in love. Ruth would hate this car. She already thinks my BMW 128i is too small. This car makes my BMW feel like a Brinks truck.

Listen, y’all know how I feel about Ruth. She’s the love of my life. She’s my soulmate, my destino, my one and only true love. But we’ve had 28 incredible years together, and that’s a good run in anyone’s books. I’m buying this car when I get home on Monday morning.

Oh yeah, the tournament.

$400 buy-in. A bounty tournament which means you collect a $100 bounty every time you knock an opponent out of the tourney. Only 131 entrants, for a prize pool of about 50K. 17 players make the money. I did very little for a long time. A few moves, a few missed flops but somehow with 26 people left I was still alive and barely kicking. I’d also collected two bounties along the way so I’ve already got $200 of my $400 investment back, which is nice.

With the blinds at 4K and climbing, I found myself with only 31K, less than 8 Big Blinds. It was desperation time, a time when you have to consider any two cards playable. I contemplated, and then ultimately passed on 46 suited and watched the flop come 664. The next hand I passed on T8 off suit to watch the board play out T72T8 for another would-be full house.

The very next hand, a baby stack sitting two to my right, probably the only player in the tournament with less chips than me, pushed his tiny 16K stack all-in. I look down at KQ, so with a bounty at stake no less, it was a no-brainer to get my chips in the middle. He shows 45 off suit. Heaven. A 5 hits right in the window, and now with 22 people left, I’m down to 15 thousand chips with the big blinds at 6 thousand, destined to be bubble boy once again.

Don’t ask how, but I managed to turn that 15K stack into over 100K. OK ask how. Well, I wait two more hands until I shove KT off suit and get two callers who are salivating at the aspect of collecting my piddly bounty. My opponents show AJ and AT respectively. It don’t get much worse than that, folks. But my miracle K hits the turn and I more than triple up, and we’re back in the game.

I ran that into 11^th place and a $770 payout, not to mention the 200 dollars in bounties I’d collected earlier. Not a fortune to be sure, but I’d rather be a winner than a loser every time, and taking profit is never a bad thing. It’s a good night. And I’ll get to drive home in my silver Mercedes SLK two-seater convertible.

After cashing out at the casino cage, it occurred to me that I’d barely eaten all day and it was close to 11 PM. Word to the wise, the deep-dish pizza slice at the Hard Rock is not good. Tough thing to screw up, but they did so in spades. Hungry as I was, I only ate half. The other half is in my fridge right now and I doubt I’ll even finish it. Not ‘til this afternoon anyway. This is not breakfast pizza.

Today I’ll have brunch with my big brother Michael, who lives here. He’s the real reason I came down to Miami this weekend. And then there’s a $300 tourney at 4 PM today and if that doesn’t work out so well there’s a $600 turbo tourney starting at 9 PM. So my night should be busy.

Hey, here’s a tip for you. My brother and I and my nephew Max had dinner Thursday night at Chayhana Oasis in Sunny Isles. If you’re ever in the area, this place is destination eating. It’s authentic Uzbeck cuisine. Go the fuck figure. Of all the Eastern European cuisines, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Myunclestan, this just became Myfavoritestan. Do yourself a favor and go there. And if you go there in a silver Mercedes SLK two-seater convertible… it’s even better!