I’m not going to talk too much about poker because I hate poker and never want to talk about it or play the game again. It’s Saturday morning, I’ve been here for two days, played in four tournaments and I have not a cruller to show for it.

So, let’s not talk about poker. Let’s talk about the good stuff.

On Thursday evening I had a dinner break from The Seniors Tournament (yes, I made it well past the dinner break. I was doing great until my pocket queens ran into pocket kings, but like I said, I don’t want to talk about it).

Anyway, I ran across the street to meet my buddy (and awesome LA talent manager) Jim Hess, at Yellowtail at the Bellagio, the nicest sushi restaurant in Las Vegas. Jim pre-ordered for us to save time, and when they brought the HUGE FOUR PLATTERS of Sushi, I honestly thought I was being punk’d. He’d ordered enough for ten people. It was like he was doing a “bit” or something. Suffice to say we left NOT ONE MORSEL on any of the four plates. Maybe the best sushi ever. You should go there. And get Jim to order for you.

I went back to the tourney and a few hour later, I lost.

My QQ ran into KK. I don’t want to talk about it.

Friday night, after busting out of a tournament at Aria, I arrived at The MGM an hour early for Day 1C of The $500 Mystery Bounty Tournament, so I decided to go to Taps, a restaurant/bar near the poker room that Hank and I ate at when we were here last June. I sidled up to the bar, ordered a beer and a huge Southwest chicken salad that looked like something from The Flintstones. Americans just abuse food.

A few minutes later two young ladies sporting four of the most prodigious breasts I’ve ever seen grabbed the two stools beside me. I mean technically I didn’t actually SEE the breasts but the bikini tops they were wearing were made of dental floss so there was very little left to the imagination.

I wish I had a picture of them I could show you. And when I say “them” I’m referring to the ladies, not the breasts.

They were named Courtney and Ashley and honestly it would have been criminal for their names to not be that. Courtney is into lashes. And I mean EYE LASHES so get your mind out of the gutter. She has her own lash studio in Fort Lauderdale. And Ashley does skin, whatever the fuck that means, and they are here for the beauty convention that is in town.

Anyway, as you can imagine, we all became fast friends over beers, talked about travel, tattoos, and cooed over pictures of our dogs. Courtney has a Pomeranian. She told me the name of it, but I can’t remember. I was a little distracted.

Anyway, without going into details – because I don’t want to talk about poker – I’ve now made a donation to four different casinos this weekend. The Horseshoe, The Venetian, The Aria, and The MGM. According to Jewish custom, if I now make donations to The SPCA, and The Jehova’s Witnesses I will have achieved “The Tzedekkah Sextuplet“. If the tradition is genuine, I am to receive lifetime enlightenment and a dozen bagels. So, there’s that.

Anyway, that’s about it. I’m missing Ruth , and I’m missing my dog, and I know that I’d be missing them a lot less if I could JUST WIN SOMETHING. So, for them… for THEM… I might try again. We’ll see.