I’m off to Calgary, a shit-kicking town if there ever was
one. 

Of course, I’m no shit-kicker. I’ve nary kicked shit in my life. So, you
can imagine that the only reasons I would ever have to go to Calgary would be:

1.      A long-lost sibling of mine has emerged, and
needs money.

2.      A long-lost child of mine has emerged, and needs
money.

3.      Valerie Bertinelli wants to meet someplace where
nobody will recognize us.

4.      A poker tournament.

You only get one guess so make it a good one.

You are correct. And it is a WSOP (World Series of Poker)
circuit tournament, so we’re not dickin’ around here. What’s at stake is not only
a cow pasture full of cash, but also a diamond-studded WSOP ring for your
finger. If this were a Vegas WSOP tournament (where I’ll be next month – more on
that later) we’d be playing for a diamond-studded bracelet. But me, I’ll
take a ring any day of the week.

I leave late Friday night with the blessings of the best
wife in the entire world who supports this little dalliance even though it’s happening
on Mother’s Day Weekend.

SON #1 will be partying with his buddies in Hamilton, Ontario,
while SON #2 is partying with his buddies in Israel, and now HUSBAND #1 will be
“on the felt” in Calgary. She’ll spend Mother’s Day with her own mom and dad
and siblings, but none of her own little family.

And still, she encourages me.

I tell ya. She’s the best. How can I ever lose when I’ve
already won the biggest prize of all?