I love The Aria!
Remember two years ago when I chopped a $25,000
prize five ways in their nightly tournament, and walked back to my room at The
Encore at 7 AM in broad daylight?
prize five ways in their nightly tournament, and walked back to my room at The
Encore at 7 AM in broad daylight?
And remember last year when I went on a 30-minute
heater at the blackjack table here and won $1200?
heater at the blackjack table here and won $1200?
And then there is this year. But I’ll tell
you about that in a minute…
you about that in a minute…
First, a disclaimer. I’ve slept no more than
two hours a night for the last four nights. I can’t sleep in Vegas for some
reason. It’s a vicious circle. I can’t sleep, so then I caffeinate so that I’ll
stay awake at the poker table, and then I can’t sleep. I’ve tried everything. Alcohol,
no alcohol, sleeping pills, no sleeping pills, eating, not eating, nothing
seems to work.
two hours a night for the last four nights. I can’t sleep in Vegas for some
reason. It’s a vicious circle. I can’t sleep, so then I caffeinate so that I’ll
stay awake at the poker table, and then I can’t sleep. I’ve tried everything. Alcohol,
no alcohol, sleeping pills, no sleeping pills, eating, not eating, nothing
seems to work.
In my favorite novel of all time, “Fools
Die” (I’ve read it no less than 27 times) one of the main characters, Osano,
lives in Vegas and has a pet name for the high-class prostitutes he orders up
to his room. He calls them “sleeping pills” because it’s the only way he can
sleep at night… But that’s a fictional character. That’s not me, Ruth! I would NEVER
do that! Not ever! And certainly not on Father’s Day, fer Chrissakes!
Die” (I’ve read it no less than 27 times) one of the main characters, Osano,
lives in Vegas and has a pet name for the high-class prostitutes he orders up
to his room. He calls them “sleeping pills” because it’s the only way he can
sleep at night… But that’s a fictional character. That’s not me, Ruth! I would NEVER
do that! Not ever! And certainly not on Father’s Day, fer Chrissakes!
So I’m a little hyped up. A little
overtired, a little jacked. So if my sentences go on meandering journeys with seemingly
no end in sight like an Aaron Sorkin script (without the intelligence or wit)
and seem to run on and on until you just
have no idea where they are… or if I write in short stabs of staccato non sequiturs…
you’ll know why.
overtired, a little jacked. So if my sentences go on meandering journeys with seemingly
no end in sight like an Aaron Sorkin script (without the intelligence or wit)
and seem to run on and on until you just
have no idea where they are… or if I write in short stabs of staccato non sequiturs…
you’ll know why.
Anyway, I love The Aria!
I decided to enter into the sweet little
$400 tournament at The Aria, and my friend, Jim Hess played in it as well. 296 entrants
added up to a nice little $100,000 prize pool with 25K going to the winner.
$400 tournament at The Aria, and my friend, Jim Hess played in it as well. 296 entrants
added up to a nice little $100,000 prize pool with 25K going to the winner.
Did I ever mention that Jim owns a WSOP bracelet?
That’s right, he won the inaugural WSOP Seniors tournament in 2011 to the tune
of over half a million dollars. And he’s amassed another quarter million at
various tournaments in Las Vegas and LA since then. So, yeah, he knows things.
That’s right, he won the inaugural WSOP Seniors tournament in 2011 to the tune
of over half a million dollars. And he’s amassed another quarter million at
various tournaments in Las Vegas and LA since then. So, yeah, he knows things.
Like he knows the whereabouts of all these
secret exclusive executive bathrooms in every casino, so that when all the
poker players are clamoring for a crapper on breaks, Jim knows all these hidden
gems to get away from the masses. I call him “The Bathroom Whisperer.”
secret exclusive executive bathrooms in every casino, so that when all the
poker players are clamoring for a crapper on breaks, Jim knows all these hidden
gems to get away from the masses. I call him “The Bathroom Whisperer.”
In the Aria he showed me a hidden high-class
toilet in the high-stakes baccarat room that nobody knows about. Plus, they
have a little nook around the corner and there’s a little buffet where you can
get a nice plate of noodles with beef and broccoli. For free! Did you hear me!?
Gratis Beef and Broccoli! And nobody knows about it. Well except, um, I guess now
they do. Oops. Well, there’s that particular cat out of the bag. My bad. It’s
the lack of sleep, I’m tellin’ ya! Luckily my readership is a fairly select assemblage.
toilet in the high-stakes baccarat room that nobody knows about. Plus, they
have a little nook around the corner and there’s a little buffet where you can
get a nice plate of noodles with beef and broccoli. For free! Did you hear me!?
Gratis Beef and Broccoli! And nobody knows about it. Well except, um, I guess now
they do. Oops. Well, there’s that particular cat out of the bag. My bad. It’s
the lack of sleep, I’m tellin’ ya! Luckily my readership is a fairly select assemblage.
Anyway, I love The Aria!
But I digress. Back to this tourney.
We started with 25,000 chips and by the
eighth level I had pissed away all but 8K. In fact, that being the last level
to rebuy, I literally tried to bust out on the last hand before the
break, going all-in with 95 off suit, just so I could rebuy (for $400) and get
afresh stack of 25K. But I sucked out on the hand and doubled to 16K. So, I saved
money but had to start level 9 with a short stack.
eighth level I had pissed away all but 8K. In fact, that being the last level
to rebuy, I literally tried to bust out on the last hand before the
break, going all-in with 95 off suit, just so I could rebuy (for $400) and get
afresh stack of 25K. But I sucked out on the hand and doubled to 16K. So, I saved
money but had to start level 9 with a short stack.
But I hung in. And I hung in. And I hung
in.
in.
Jim unfortunately went out on QQ versus AK.
Unavoidable. But he kindheartedly kept popping around to see how I was doing,
and to lend moral support.
Unavoidable. But he kindheartedly kept popping around to see how I was doing,
and to lend moral support.
And I hung in some more. Never had a big
stack the whole night. It was always survival mode.
stack the whole night. It was always survival mode.
Seminal hand number one came with 37
players left and the bubble about to burst. This is cool, so listen up.
Remember they are paying 35 spots and we’re at 37. I’m nursing a very short
stack and look down at KK. You know my history with KK so let’s just not go
there. Anyway, I raise pre-flop, a guy shoves and I call. What am I gonna do?
If he has AA, so be it.
players left and the bubble about to burst. This is cool, so listen up.
Remember they are paying 35 spots and we’re at 37. I’m nursing a very short
stack and look down at KK. You know my history with KK so let’s just not go
there. Anyway, I raise pre-flop, a guy shoves and I call. What am I gonna do?
If he has AA, so be it.
He has AA…
Flop comes 4, 6, 7. I’m in real bad shape…
And then the dealer drops a 5 on the felt
for the turn card…
for the turn card…
And right at that moment, I knew what was
coming next. I could actually see it in my mind’s eye.
coming next. I could actually see it in my mind’s eye.
And I calmly said aloud
to the dealer “Peel the eight”…
to the dealer “Peel the eight”…
And he did.
The straight on the board plays, and we
chop the pot. I stay alive.
chop the pot. I stay alive.
I love The Aria!
Seminal hand number two came about a half
hour later when we were down to 22 players and I shoved my 66 and was called by
the attractive woman with the massive keester. I know, so sexist, right? Would
I have even mentioned her behind if she had been a man? In fact, would I have even
mentioned the attractiveness if she had been a man? I should say not. So how’s
that? I managed to be Sexist and Homophobic in the same paragraph! I disgust me, sometimes. It’s
the lack of sleep thing, I’m sure of it.
hour later when we were down to 22 players and I shoved my 66 and was called by
the attractive woman with the massive keester. I know, so sexist, right? Would
I have even mentioned her behind if she had been a man? In fact, would I have even
mentioned the attractiveness if she had been a man? I should say not. So how’s
that? I managed to be Sexist and Homophobic in the same paragraph! I disgust me, sometimes. It’s
the lack of sleep thing, I’m sure of it.
Anyway, she had AJ and my sixes held
and I got a nice double up that finally gave me some breathing room.
and I got a nice double up that finally gave me some breathing room.
And once I had that, there was no stopping
me!
me!
Well, I guess ultimately there was, because
I only finished 11th.
I only finished 11th.
But it’s a game of attrition, and time
caught up to me. With blinds soaring I was forced to take a shot, blind against
blind, and I ran into a real good hand. No bad beats. No regrets.
caught up to me. With blinds soaring I was forced to take a shot, blind against
blind, and I ran into a real good hand. No bad beats. No regrets.
And I cashed for $1560.
Not quite enough to make up for my losses
the previous two days, but it sure cut a nice dent.
the previous two days, but it sure cut a nice dent.
And I cashed in one out of three
tournaments. There, that’s a better way to look at it!
tournaments. There, that’s a better way to look at it!
And now it’s Sunday, a day of rest. I come
home on the red-eye tonight, so no time to start a new tourney. Besides I’m
pokered out after yesterday’s slog.
home on the red-eye tonight, so no time to start a new tourney. Besides I’m
pokered out after yesterday’s slog.
But what a glorious Father’s Day of working
out, hanging by the pool, reading my book, writing this blog.
out, hanging by the pool, reading my book, writing this blog.
Sure, a lot of Dads are with their families
right now. But mine understands. They get me. It’s all good.
right now. But mine understands. They get me. It’s all good.
So, while most men I know, are probably
shvitzing over a hot barbeque right now, I’m actually enjoying a shvitz in the spa!
Same difference.
shvitzing over a hot barbeque right now, I’m actually enjoying a shvitz in the spa!
Same difference.
By the time I touch down in Toronto tomorrow
morning, this blog will be reaching you by email, that’s assuming you’re
subscribing.
morning, this blog will be reaching you by email, that’s assuming you’re
subscribing.
And if you’re not… why not?!
An addendum… (like this wasn’t long enough already!)
Here’s a curious generational phenomenon I noticed today. I’ve been going to the Spa in Vegas for decades and traditionally when men are travelling between the Whirlpool and the wet steam and the dry steam and the shower (as I did for the better part of four hours today), we do it in all the glory that God endowed us with. In other words… we’re stark nekked! That’s just the way. No matter how wrinkled the ass, or how low a guy’s belly hangs over his penis, he flaunts it loud and proud.
But I notice all the young guys wear bathing suits now. It’s just weird. Even the heavily tattooed body builder types who obviously take great pride in their physiques, walk around in swimming costumes.
Funny, thought I’d mention it.
It’s just a little thing.
Excuse the pun…
An addendum… (like this wasn’t long enough already!)
Here’s a curious generational phenomenon I noticed today. I’ve been going to the Spa in Vegas for decades and traditionally when men are travelling between the Whirlpool and the wet steam and the dry steam and the shower (as I did for the better part of four hours today), we do it in all the glory that God endowed us with. In other words… we’re stark nekked! That’s just the way. No matter how wrinkled the ass, or how low a guy’s belly hangs over his penis, he flaunts it loud and proud.
But I notice all the young guys wear bathing suits now. It’s just weird. Even the heavily tattooed body builder types who obviously take great pride in their physiques, walk around in swimming costumes.
Funny, thought I’d mention it.
It’s just a little thing.
Excuse the pun…
virgilgoestoeurope 
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