Found this letter on the street….stuffed into a broken Agavales Tequila bottle…. lodged in the sewer.
Hey Dougie
S’up Brah?!
Long time, no speak. I know it must be weird hearing from
me. Technically it’s against the rules for me to contact you, but you know what
I say “fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke!” Even down here I got ways to work
the system. There are always palms to be greased, even in hell, brother.
Remember that for when YOU get here! Ha!
me. Technically it’s against the rules for me to contact you, but you know what
I say “fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke!” Even down here I got ways to work
the system. There are always palms to be greased, even in hell, brother.
Remember that for when YOU get here! Ha!
Sooooo, Premier Of Ontario, eh? Who’d a thunk it? Not me,
that’s fer sure! But ya lucked out with those two broads, eh? I mean, please, a
dike and a fatty? Up against a Ford? Are you fucking kidding me?
that’s fer sure! But ya lucked out with those two broads, eh? I mean, please, a
dike and a fatty? Up against a Ford? Are you fucking kidding me?
But I digress, let’s have a serious discussion about the
issues you’ll face as the new Premier Of Ontario.
issues you’ll face as the new Premier Of Ontario.
Pffffft! I’m kidding, Bro! I had you there for a sec though,
eh? Just a little Hades humor!
eh? Just a little Hades humor!
Speaking of which, this place totally gets a bad rap. It’s
not half as bad as everyone thinks. The heat’s a pain in the ass, but
eventually you get used to it. I shvitz like a pig down here, but on the upside
I’ve lost like fifty pounds. It doesn’t show though… yet! LOL!
not half as bad as everyone thinks. The heat’s a pain in the ass, but
eventually you get used to it. I shvitz like a pig down here, but on the upside
I’ve lost like fifty pounds. It doesn’t show though… yet! LOL!
And I’ve met some surprisingly awesome people! Ivan The
Terrible? Not so terrible. He’s a pretty good shit actually. Sore loser at
Scrabble, but what can you do? And Caligula is a fucking riot. Lemme tell ya,
you want to party with that guy!
Terrible? Not so terrible. He’s a pretty good shit actually. Sore loser at
Scrabble, but what can you do? And Caligula is a fucking riot. Lemme tell ya,
you want to party with that guy!
I should warn ya, it’s a little cliquey. Mengele, Hitler,
Eichmann, and Himmler mostly sit around plotting
practical jokes on Stalin. Old school pranks, fake dog shit, wedgies,
silly kid stuff, but we all get a kick out of it.
Eichmann, and Himmler mostly sit around plotting
practical jokes on Stalin. Old school pranks, fake dog shit, wedgies,
silly kid stuff, but we all get a kick out of it.
Idi and I just sit back and
laugh. Idi’s my best bud down here. Whiney narcissist bastard, I love the fat fuck! You will
too, he’s good people, like a darky version of you and me!
laugh. Idi’s my best bud down here. Whiney narcissist bastard, I love the fat fuck! You will
too, he’s good people, like a darky version of you and me!
Anyway, “My Brutha From The Same Mutha” just wanted to drop
you a line to let you know that I’m keepin’ a spot warm for ya. Take your time
getting’ here though, you still got a lot to accomplish. And I love what you’re
puttin’ out there. Just remember, when in doubt… PRIVATIZE. You’ll be fine.
you a line to let you know that I’m keepin’ a spot warm for ya. Take your time
getting’ here though, you still got a lot to accomplish. And I love what you’re
puttin’ out there. Just remember, when in doubt… PRIVATIZE. You’ll be fine.
Be well, Brah. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! Har! Which
means do whatever the fuck you want! LOL!
means do whatever the fuck you want! LOL!
Love ya!
RF
BTW – when I told you that you could fuck my wife, I didn’t
mean financially, ya Doofus!
mean financially, ya Doofus!
I’m not sure it’s for reals. What do you think?
Anyway more importantly, Randy and I are headed down to Vegas for The WSOP Seniors Event. Cards fly at 10:06 AM on Friday June 15. I’ll keep you informed!
virgilgoestoeurope 
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