OK this will
be the Tarantino-esque version of my blog… in that this will not be the usual
chronological retelling of one of my valiant, yet ultimately disheartening
attempts at winning a poker tournament. Usually I write this blog diary-style,
and the story unfolds in the blog pretty much as it happens in my life. This
time I am writing after the fact. I have the luxury now of knowing the ending.
I can jumble the time-lines as I please. I can flash forwards, flash backwards,
create non-linear narratives, parallel distinctive plot lines, and multiversal
universes if I want. I won’t, but just know that I could.
be the Tarantino-esque version of my blog… in that this will not be the usual
chronological retelling of one of my valiant, yet ultimately disheartening
attempts at winning a poker tournament. Usually I write this blog diary-style,
and the story unfolds in the blog pretty much as it happens in my life. This
time I am writing after the fact. I have the luxury now of knowing the ending.
I can jumble the time-lines as I please. I can flash forwards, flash backwards,
create non-linear narratives, parallel distinctive plot lines, and multiversal
universes if I want. I won’t, but just know that I could.
So – spoiler
alert – I won one. Or at least I chopped it three ways. Don’t get excited (or
start hitting me up for one of your “can’t-fail” investment schemes) it was
more of a guppy than a whale, but what the heck, a win is a win.
But let’s
not start there.
I wasn’t
going to write this blog at all. Mostly because the tournaments I was playing in
last weekend were so small. It didn’t seem worth the effort or anyone’s time.
But now that I know the ending… well Godammit I am going to write about it!
Enough “poor me, bad beat, blah blah blah, I’ll get ‘em next time, I still had
fun” rhetoric. This one has a happy ending. No, not THAT kind of “happy ending”
!
going to write this blog at all. Mostly because the tournaments I was playing in
last weekend were so small. It didn’t seem worth the effort or anyone’s time.
But now that I know the ending… well Godammit I am going to write about it!
Enough “poor me, bad beat, blah blah blah, I’ll get ‘em next time, I still had
fun” rhetoric. This one has a happy ending. No, not THAT kind of “happy ending”
!
Anyway this
could be one long blog but I’ll try to break it into sections that – to coin a
phrase from “The Big Chill” – won’t be anything longer than the
average person can read during the average crap.
could be one long blog but I’ll try to break it into sections that – to coin a
phrase from “The Big Chill” – won’t be anything longer than the
average person can read during the average crap.
So I needed
to go to LA to do my usual meetings. Here’s the capsulated run-on sentence
version of that:
Thursday
night fly down in Ativan haze on the good Air Canada to excellent service at
Budget Rent-a Car, best choice for car rentals bar none (not like Hertz which
should, as a company, all get a collective case of exudative diarrhea) Camaro
convertible black on black on black, nice, I immediately put the top down, the
Rental car attendant lady says watchoo doin’ chile? It be freezin’ out here!, I
say please, Budget Rental Car Attendant Lady, I’m from Canada and head off into the cool LA night, The Avalon Hotel in Beverly Hills, nice enough joint, sleep a little,
wake up Friday morning at the crack of ass (footnote Paula Boudreau), breakfast
meetings lunch meetings in between snacks meetings, lots a traffic, don’t get
lost ONCE even, spin my bullshit, day done, c’est ca.
night fly down in Ativan haze on the good Air Canada to excellent service at
Budget Rent-a Car, best choice for car rentals bar none (not like Hertz which
should, as a company, all get a collective case of exudative diarrhea) Camaro
convertible black on black on black, nice, I immediately put the top down, the
Rental car attendant lady says watchoo doin’ chile? It be freezin’ out here!, I
say please, Budget Rental Car Attendant Lady, I’m from Canada and head off into the cool LA night, The Avalon Hotel in Beverly Hills, nice enough joint, sleep a little,
wake up Friday morning at the crack of ass (footnote Paula Boudreau), breakfast
meetings lunch meetings in between snacks meetings, lots a traffic, don’t get
lost ONCE even, spin my bullshit, day done, c’est ca.
At the end
of day Friday and I head down to Commerce California to the newly renovated Commerce
Casino eschewing my usual Vegas trip. There were no really good tournaments
going on in Vegas this week anyway and I decided to hang out in LA. My friend
Ben said he wanted to take me on a hike up a mountain, and who likes a good
hike better than Rich Caplan? And the truth is while The Commerce is no Vegas,
it’s still pretty good as poker meccas go, and doesn’t involve getting there on
little planes.
of day Friday and I head down to Commerce California to the newly renovated Commerce
Casino eschewing my usual Vegas trip. There were no really good tournaments
going on in Vegas this week anyway and I decided to hang out in LA. My friend
Ben said he wanted to take me on a hike up a mountain, and who likes a good
hike better than Rich Caplan? And the truth is while The Commerce is no Vegas,
it’s still pretty good as poker meccas go, and doesn’t involve getting there on
little planes.
GPS WARS
I brought my
GPS from home, our portable one, the one we use in Ruth’s car. (My Beemer has a
built in GPS who I’m really fond of, but of course I couldn’t bring her). Our
portable GPS is troublesome. She always has been, it’s just the way she is.
She’s cranky in the morning, she’s moody when she doesn’t get her way, does not
like to be contradicted, and can be downright vindictive when she’s crossed. In
a word… she’s a woman. But I’m
comfortable with her, warts and all, so I never opt for the expensive add-on
GPS that the rental cars offer. Better the She-Devil you know, right?
GPS from home, our portable one, the one we use in Ruth’s car. (My Beemer has a
built in GPS who I’m really fond of, but of course I couldn’t bring her). Our
portable GPS is troublesome. She always has been, it’s just the way she is.
She’s cranky in the morning, she’s moody when she doesn’t get her way, does not
like to be contradicted, and can be downright vindictive when she’s crossed. In
a word… she’s a woman. But I’m
comfortable with her, warts and all, so I never opt for the expensive add-on
GPS that the rental cars offer. Better the She-Devil you know, right?
So I depend
on our Old GPS throughout my Friday itinerary, and she gets me exactly where I
need to go (which in LA with my hectic schedule is no easy feat). She’s her
usual bitchy self in the morning (she hates mornings), but by lunchtime she’s in generally good spirits (I’m
sure she’s happy to be out of the cold weather) and we get along just fine the
rest of the day, she and I. But on the drive down to Commerce sitting in that
fucking LA traffic, for lack of anything else to do, I start fiddling with the
dashboard on my Camaro and realize that my black-on-black-on-black Camaro has a
built-in GPS. Who knew!? So I crank
her up and I punch in my destination (even though my old GPS is already tracking
it, just to see what would happen. There seems to be a difference of opinion as
to the routing. Y’see Old GPS, a traditional gal at heart, wants me to stay on
the I-5 while Camaro GPS, thinking out-of-the box, campaigns to get off the
freeway and take Washington Blvd thus avoiding the traffic. Or maybe it was the
other way around, I dunno. All I know is it’s getting pretty heated in there.
Camaro GPS interrupts Old GPS (she HATES being interrupted) and Old GPS just goes
ballistic. And the bitch-fest is on. Full on.
on our Old GPS throughout my Friday itinerary, and she gets me exactly where I
need to go (which in LA with my hectic schedule is no easy feat). She’s her
usual bitchy self in the morning (she hates mornings), but by lunchtime she’s in generally good spirits (I’m
sure she’s happy to be out of the cold weather) and we get along just fine the
rest of the day, she and I. But on the drive down to Commerce sitting in that
fucking LA traffic, for lack of anything else to do, I start fiddling with the
dashboard on my Camaro and realize that my black-on-black-on-black Camaro has a
built-in GPS. Who knew!? So I crank
her up and I punch in my destination (even though my old GPS is already tracking
it, just to see what would happen. There seems to be a difference of opinion as
to the routing. Y’see Old GPS, a traditional gal at heart, wants me to stay on
the I-5 while Camaro GPS, thinking out-of-the box, campaigns to get off the
freeway and take Washington Blvd thus avoiding the traffic. Or maybe it was the
other way around, I dunno. All I know is it’s getting pretty heated in there.
Camaro GPS interrupts Old GPS (she HATES being interrupted) and Old GPS just goes
ballistic. And the bitch-fest is on. Full on.
I liked it.
It felt like any minute they might come to blows. Of course red-blooded North
American male that I am, what I really hoped is that the fisticuffs might end
in a kiss. Alas it never happened.
It felt like any minute they might come to blows. Of course red-blooded North
American male that I am, what I really hoped is that the fisticuffs might end
in a kiss. Alas it never happened.
Know what
else never happened? Old GPS never came out of the console the rest of the
weekend.
else never happened? Old GPS never came out of the console the rest of the
weekend.
I’m just
going to say it. I love Camaro GPS. She’s just so… accessible. She’s easy to
read, there’s no game-playing. She speaks from the heart and she means every
word she says and never gives me any ‘tude. We had immediate chemistry. No
getting-to-know-you period. No taking it slow. We just jumped right in.
going to say it. I love Camaro GPS. She’s just so… accessible. She’s easy to
read, there’s no game-playing. She speaks from the heart and she means every
word she says and never gives me any ‘tude. We had immediate chemistry. No
getting-to-know-you period. No taking it slow. We just jumped right in.
And yet, we
knew it couldn’t last. I knew she belonged to someone else. The real truth is she’ll
belong to anyone who comes along. And she knows I have… another commitment. And
don’t get me wrong. I have a great relationship with my BMW GPS, but there’s
always been a wall between us, a coolness. She’s there for me, but she never lets
me in, you know, at least… not all the way in. Not to mention the fact that, between
you and me, I suspect her accent is pure affectation.
knew it couldn’t last. I knew she belonged to someone else. The real truth is she’ll
belong to anyone who comes along. And she knows I have… another commitment. And
don’t get me wrong. I have a great relationship with my BMW GPS, but there’s
always been a wall between us, a coolness. She’s there for me, but she never lets
me in, you know, at least… not all the way in. Not to mention the fact that, between
you and me, I suspect her accent is pure affectation.
What can I tell
ya, It was just different with Camaro GPS, I don’t know how else to put it. And
besides, we knew our time together was limited. So we just went for it like a
couple of Baptist kids who just got told it’s OK to dance. It was a weekend I’ll
never forget. She’s shown me what a man’s relationship with his GPS should be… could be.
ya, It was just different with Camaro GPS, I don’t know how else to put it. And
besides, we knew our time together was limited. So we just went for it like a
couple of Baptist kids who just got told it’s OK to dance. It was a weekend I’ll
never forget. She’s shown me what a man’s relationship with his GPS should be… could be.
Anyway time’s
up. We’ll pick this up later. And I’ll tell you what I won. It’s really not
that big a deal. Check back in 24 hours or so.
up. We’ll pick this up later. And I’ll tell you what I won. It’s really not
that big a deal. Check back in 24 hours or so.
virgilgoestoeurope 
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