First of all let me say that trains
are good. You can do work on trains. You can write your blog. If you were a normal
person, you could probably sleep (especially when you’ve been so horribly
sleep-deprived for the better part of three days, but for some reason that
doesn’t hold true for yours truly). Also there’s an angelic woman who brings
you coffee right when that’s all you need in the world, and does it with an
energetic smile on her face and a halo over her head to boot. And nobody
bothers you. And in theory, if you got really claustrophobic, you could just
jump off it, like Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid. It’s just in theory, but
it’s important to know in those panicky moments.
are good. You can do work on trains. You can write your blog. If you were a normal
person, you could probably sleep (especially when you’ve been so horribly
sleep-deprived for the better part of three days, but for some reason that
doesn’t hold true for yours truly). Also there’s an angelic woman who brings
you coffee right when that’s all you need in the world, and does it with an
energetic smile on her face and a halo over her head to boot. And nobody
bothers you. And in theory, if you got really claustrophobic, you could just
jump off it, like Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid. It’s just in theory, but
it’s important to know in those panicky moments.
So… poker.
After”The Hand” things went South. My moves weren’t working, my flops
weren’t hitting, and my cards went dead. For hours. But somehow I survived.
Around level 7 (after an incredibly mediocre buffet dinner) I started watching
the clock as much as I was watching my dwindling stack. Y’see I’m in an awkward
position on this tournament. I have my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah this weekend
(tonight and tomorrow) so no matter what happened I would have had to return to
Toronto for Friday.
If I made it to day 2 I’d have to come back here on Sunday. If I busted I
could go back to Toronto early. It’s complicated but I’m not only factoring in
winning and losing but also the timing of the losing. If I lost early enough I
could have flown back to Toronto. If not, I’d be stuck staying in a hotel and returning in
the morning.
After”The Hand” things went South. My moves weren’t working, my flops
weren’t hitting, and my cards went dead. For hours. But somehow I survived.
Around level 7 (after an incredibly mediocre buffet dinner) I started watching
the clock as much as I was watching my dwindling stack. Y’see I’m in an awkward
position on this tournament. I have my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah this weekend
(tonight and tomorrow) so no matter what happened I would have had to return to
Toronto for Friday.
If I made it to day 2 I’d have to come back here on Sunday. If I busted I
could go back to Toronto early. It’s complicated but I’m not only factoring in
winning and losing but also the timing of the losing. If I lost early enough I
could have flown back to Toronto. If not, I’d be stuck staying in a hotel and returning in
the morning.
Also, just to further complicate things, I have no
intentions of making it to Day 2 with a puny stack, and traipsing all the way
back there, just to shove the first decent hand I see. I set my goal at 50 Big
Blinds. I vow that if can’t accumulate that I will bust out trying.
I find
myself with 30,000 chips at level 10 (the final level of the night) with the BB’s at 1000. I text Domenic that
this is “power hour” and I’m either going to accumulate chips or go
bust, but nothing in between. So despite crappy cards I go on a bit of a
rampage. I steal a lot, but I also get my hand caught in the cookie jar a few times, but by the time we
bag our chips I’ve chipped up to 59,700.
Level 11 will start on Sunday morning with BBs of 1200,
so I’ve fallen just 300 chips short of my goal. Not bad. Average stack is about
82K right now but that could change over the next day or two as they play out
Day 1b and Day 1c. I know it’s confusing. Suffice to say I’m going into Day 2
light, but not too light.
intentions of making it to Day 2 with a puny stack, and traipsing all the way
back there, just to shove the first decent hand I see. I set my goal at 50 Big
Blinds. I vow that if can’t accumulate that I will bust out trying.
I find
myself with 30,000 chips at level 10 (the final level of the night) with the BB’s at 1000. I text Domenic that
this is “power hour” and I’m either going to accumulate chips or go
bust, but nothing in between. So despite crappy cards I go on a bit of a
rampage. I steal a lot, but I also get my hand caught in the cookie jar a few times, but by the time we
bag our chips I’ve chipped up to 59,700.
Level 11 will start on Sunday morning with BBs of 1200,
so I’ve fallen just 300 chips short of my goal. Not bad. Average stack is about
82K right now but that could change over the next day or two as they play out
Day 1b and Day 1c. I know it’s confusing. Suffice to say I’m going into Day 2
light, but not too light.
Getting a hotel
room last night was a freaking debacle. At around 11:30 I book a room at a
Sheraton that I thought was in LaSalle near the poker club. I get outside and ask the
doorman – who is huge and looks like a more menacing Penn from Penn And Teller, complete with
the pointy beard and everything – about getting a cab and I show the piece of paper I wrote the address down on and he says “Sacre Bleu” or Mon Dieu” “Le petite chien” or whatever it is a Frenchie would say to a customer who has presented himself as a complete idiot. He says “Dat is a very long way from ‘ere, eh?” I say no it’s in LaSalle which is not too far. He says no, it’s in LaValle which is very too far. But I’ve pre-paid the room I tell him, I can’t get my money back! He shrugs as if to say “dat sounds like tough shit, mon frère”.
room last night was a freaking debacle. At around 11:30 I book a room at a
Sheraton that I thought was in LaSalle near the poker club. I get outside and ask the
doorman – who is huge and looks like a more menacing Penn from Penn And Teller, complete with
the pointy beard and everything – about getting a cab and I show the piece of paper I wrote the address down on and he says “Sacre Bleu” or Mon Dieu” “Le petite chien” or whatever it is a Frenchie would say to a customer who has presented himself as a complete idiot. He says “Dat is a very long way from ‘ere, eh?” I say no it’s in LaSalle which is not too far. He says no, it’s in LaValle which is very too far. But I’ve pre-paid the room I tell him, I can’t get my money back! He shrugs as if to say “dat sounds like tough shit, mon frère”.
I go back into the club and I get Sheraton on the blower. I talk to the requisite useless turd who says he’s helpless to help me, so I tell him to put his supervisor on the hook. I explain (again) the situation, that I just booked this fucking room FIVE MINUTES AGO and it’s in the wrong fucking place. But I don’t use those words. Au contraire, I’m being incredibly charming, given my tired and desperate state. I’m surprising myself. I’m being so charming that, in fact, I’d blow myself if I wasn’t already myself (and I could physically do that). She says she still can’t reverse the charges and suggests I talk to her manager. And I lose it. I say “YOU’RE THE FUCKING MANAGER! I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I WAS ON HOLD FOR A FULL FIVE MINUTES BEFORE YOU CAME ON THE FUCKING LINE” Y’see I’m quite capable of making someone cry when I want to. So I did. In the middle of this poker club, I tore a strip off this woman that she won’t soon forget.
The money for the room was reimbursed. And you can bet the boys in the card room cut a wide swath for me as I exited the building. A new room was booked at The Best Western in downtown Montreal. It’s a bit of a dive but at least they’re nice there (the cockroaches were all very good-natured) and the truth is I knew I was only gonna be there for a total of about four hours so it totally did the trick.
So now I go back on Sunday. I have a much better travel plan. I’m driving. Top down, sun beating a cancerous glow on my bald pate, gospel music blasting, and most importantly the autonomy to come and go as I please.
Until then.
virgilgoestoeurope 
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